I'm Tired

I'm exhausted. I'm tired.
Tired of the mask I wear.
I've not been genuine,
Of dancing away without you really seeing me.

But if I don't—if I show you the real me—I know you won't stay.
Or I know you'll use it against me and stick the knife in my chest,
Or worse, in my back.

So I continue to wear this facade of a crown,
Never truly letting my guard down.
Being exhausted and tired doesn't matter; the show must go on.
The clown must laugh even if tears fill his eyes.

Smokey Robinson once talked about the tears of a clown.
I'm that clown, here for your amusement.
Never really being seen, just a moment in time,
Never having to be genuine because I don't matter.

I'm tired of the mask. I'm tired of wearing it.
I'm tired. I'm not being me.